My mom is a strong, independent woman. She is not a push over and she knows how to stand her ground. She speaks what is on her mind and doesn't let anyone's opinion affect her. She also had to grow up faster than expected because she had a duty to watch her little sister while my grandma went to work every day. My mom taught me how to stay strong even when times get tough. I learned to prove people wrong when they say I will never be able to do something. With the child, I would teach them how to always strive for what they believe in; giving no one the power to stop them.
My dad is one of the most humble people I know. He really has a heart for others and is sensitive to their feelings. It isn't a surprise when I hear him on the phone, giving someone advice. This trait about my dad reminds me of myself. I'm always there for my friends when they are in need. I don't judge a person when they do something wrong, but I try to guide them to the positive side of life. I would teach the kid to never let his/her pride get the best of them. I would want them to grow up as someone who is known for caring for others before themselves.
My grandma is hardworking, loving, and the kind of woman that wouldn't let you leave the house with an empty stomach. She is hardworking because as long as she can walk, she will choose to go to work. She is loving because she has a very giving heart. For someone who doesn't have much, she gives all that she can. Every time I go over to her house the first thing she says is "did you eat yet?". She always makes sure my stomach is filled before I leave. I would make sure the child has a good appetite so he/she is healthy. I wouldn't want the child to starve. I would try my best to give them as much as I can as a "mother figure".
Basically I believe that a child could learn by experience and influence of others, just how I was brought up to be. I would be a responsible role model for that child and I would be that positive impact on their life. In addition to my part in giving and caring for them, they would make an impact on myself as well. It would keep me in check on how I am as a person and a care giver.
Hello Tati,
ReplyDeleteSorry I didn't check on this last night - I had fallen asleep before I checked this. Your essay looks very good! You address the prompt well, and state specifically how you would deal with a situation with the child, and how you learned from your own experience growing up with your Grandmother. The word choice and voice is good, as you show how you were taught and how you are going to impose this upon the child, as well as how your family views strength, and stands strong. I recommend though, that you give a little more insight and detail on what you would tell the child, how to act and what to think like. Other than that, you have a very good summary, backing details, and a conclusion that displays how you would handle the situation.
- Z
Tati,
ReplyDeleteI think you did a great job following the prompt that was given to you. You support all your ideas with how your mom, dad, and grandma taught you to be the person you are today. However this is about how YOU would impact this child so build more on how these traits you've taken could help you raise a child.
-Keegan D.
Hi Tati,
ReplyDeleteNicely done essay! You've done a good job of describing three of the important influences in your life and showing how you would want to raise the child with their values.
I recommend making each one just a bit more specific--one specific incident in which that particular trait that you are describing shines through.
As for mechanics, watch singular and plural. In each paragraph, you talk about the child (singular) that you are raising, but later use the plural pronouns "them," and "they" and "their," etc. It will get awkward to keep saying "him or her" "he or she" "his or hers" though....so you may need to reword those sentences.
Good luck on the revision!
mrs s
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